PEPE TIME #13

I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
Enjoy.

LOW COOLANT

We were just driving around Long Beach in Pepe's full size, extra cab, long bed American truck, when I noticed some lights and warnings flickering on his dash.

Me: hey dude, it keeps saying Low Coolant and Low Windshield Washer, look...

Pepe: yeah but that don't mean nothing

Me: it doesn't mean that it needs coolant or windshield wiper water?

Pepe: noo, it always says that. even when I put water or whatever in there. the sensor is broken

Me: are you sure?

Pepe: LISTEN - I know my truck, dude

Me: when's the last time you had the oil change and the fluids checked?

Pepe: pssshhht, I get the oil changed ALL THE TIME, dog. I KNOW my truck.

Then a few weeks later....

Me: hey I got a ton or so of concrete in my back yard. I gotta take it to the dump. I looked it up and it's only like 4 miles away. can you help me take that shit down there in your truck? I don't think my Toyota will make it with that load.

Pepe: hahaha no sweat, I'll be over in a few.

We get to the dump, just 10 minutes away, drop off the load... as we're driving back to my pad, I notice some smoke coming up from the hood of his Chevy.

Me: you see that?

Pepe: what?

Me: I think something is smoking, man. you overheating?

Pepe: well, the temperature gauge is higher than normal...

Me: pull over real quick, let's just take a quick look

Pepe: I told you it don't need water dude

Me: just pull over right here, nobody's around, let's just take a fucking look.

With the hood open, we peered into the plastic radiator reservoir to find it completely empty!

Me: uuhmmm... I think you need coolant, dude.

Pepe: yeah! but it always says that!!!



a year later, Pepe has an extra car. a white VW Jetta he picked up for chump change nicknamed The White Knight. it drives great, CD player, automatic, AC, perfect commuter. my FXR was giving me problems and so was my truck, so I asked him to borrow The White Knight to go to work one day and pick up some parts on the way home.

as I was driving The White Knight just one block from my house, I noticed that it also had a low coolant light flickering on the dash. So I thought I'd give Pepe a call from the local gas station.

Me: hey

Pepe: yo Nelly

Me: you check the fluids in this car?

Pepe: yeah, why?

Me: low coolant light on in this car too, dude

Pepe: pssshht, you fucking trip out on that shit, huh!!! hahaha

Me: so it's not low on coolant?

Pepe: duuuude, stop worrying about it. the coolant sensor in that car is broken too!

Me: you have a Chevy and a VW that by chance they BOTH have broken low coolant sensors?

Pepe: yeah... I guess so... how trippy is that, huh?

I opened the hood to find that The White Knight needed a quart of oil and it was also completely empty in the coolant reservoir.

The End.