PEPE TIME #74

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy.

READING

Some years ago Pepe was building an old bike, which actually turned out really, really nice. Its been his magnum opus. He was very careful about it, wanting to get all the right parts.

And wanting to do it just perfect, he drove me a little nuts. I'm not sure who got the most of it but if it wasn't me, I must have been runner up. "Dude, I scored this speedo and dash for nothing from this guy and its so rare, soo RARE!" and "these are the most perfect tanks I ever SEEN! pssht, the dude practically GAAAAVE them to me!" 

Pepe called me a thousand times and asked me tens of thousands of questions. One day I offered to get him the above book, which I had been using as a reference guide for quite some time. 50 bucks and I could have Pepe off my back and he could become a student of Bruce Palmer's bible...


Me: I'm going to get you this book

Pepe: I don't want it 

Me: Why not? 

Pepe: don't buy it, I don't want it

Me: it's pretty much got all the answers I give you anyway

Pepe: nope

Me: Why not? you don't like waiting for mail order stuff or something? 

Pepe: I rather just call you for the answers, it's easier 

Me: It'll be here in 3 days

Pepe: I don't like sitting there and reading

Me: .........

The End

PEPE TIME #73

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy.

NO SMOKING

Pepe was having a bad day. This means that he goes out of his way to find something to get angry about... which is almost tolerable, because it only happens in short bursts. On the other hand, it can be irritating because it happens mid-conversation or mid-sentence.  

We were waiting for a car in front of us to make a left turn. They took an extra few seconds too long. Both the driver and passenger were holding cigarettes out their car windows. 

Me: where we gonna eat at? 

Pepe: well this place already closed, you probably know - LOOK AT THESE FUCKING IDIOTS

Me: what? 

Pepe: taking their time, SMOKING FUCKING CIGARETTES FUCK.

Me: ....yup

Pepe: FUCK. FUCKING IDIOTS. They shouldn't hold that shit out the window like that, FUCK.

Me: let's go kick their cigarette asses!

Pepe: Fuck. Look at them. Fuck. 

The End

PEPE TIME #72

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy. 

HAWAII VACATION RENTAL

Pepe was planning a vacation in Hawaii. He needed contact info for a rental home from The Hater. 

Here's how it went:

The End

PEPE TIME #71

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy.

Submitted by Nator 

ICED TEA

One day, Pepe and Nator went to have lunch at a restaurant. When it came time to order a beverage, this is how it went:

Nator: I'll have an iced tea

Waiter: and you? 

Pepe: I'll have one too

Pepe: check this guy out

Nator: what?

Pepe: the waiter! he's just putting a tea bag into a cup of hot water

Nator: you ordered an iced tea

Pepe: I didn't order THAT

Pepe: pssht, check him out now! he's putting ice over it

Nator: that's how you make iced tea, dude

Pepe: I just want iced... tea. 

 

the end

PEPE TIME #70

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy.

SHAOLIN MASTER 

Back in Pepe Time #64, you might recall Pepe's opinion of Jiu Jitsu. I remember that short moment in time clear as day. "Fuck that faggot shit" he said, with such disdain... but that was totally OK with us. If we were patient enough, I knew that it would come around and it did in the good, humorous form of Pepe Time #70! Some of you fight fans may dig this short tale.

So the back story: Pepe loves watching UFC fights like the rest of us. He has literally seen well over a hundred UFC matches over at Nator's house alone. But Mixed Martial Arts and Jiu Jitsu is not where his heart was, grasshopper. It was in Shaolin Kung Fu!

Please, don't get me wrong. I'm never one to make fun of any martial art. I truly do respect them all, including all of Kung Fu. But I do find it entertaining how Pepe had perceived Kung Fu. Here are some of the more memorable moments over the years.

Pepe: I'm telling you, dude, it's just a matter of time before Kung Fu gets into the UFC

Me: and then what? 

Pepe: Shaolin Kung Fu is bad ass, dude. All that UFC shit is nothing compared to it

Me: you think some Shaolin Monks would show up and clean the UFC out? 

Pepe: psssht, FUCK yeah

Me: Have you seen the first few UFC from the 90's? 

Pepe: So? 

Me: they had some Kung Fu guys in there but they got fucked up. 

Pepe: psssht, I don't remember but fuck all that

Me: you watch any Kung Fu movies lately? 

Pepe: dude, I watched every Kung Fu movie there is on all of Netflix

Me: are you serious? 

Pepe: Totally serious. I fucking watched them ALL. Ask me, quiz me. I'm serious.

Pepe: I've NEVER seen Jiu Jitsu in the UFC before!

Me: How come there isn't any Kung Fu guys on YouTube fucking everybody up?

Pepe: it hasn't come out yet.

Pepe: you know what else I can't get into about Jiu Jitsu?

Me: what?

Pepe: I can't get down with rolling on the floor with a bunch of sweaty guys!

Then exactly one year later, Pepe starts training with us in Jiu Jitsu at our same academy. What caused him to have such a change of heart is still a mystery. He's been hard at it and its been great fun, we're all stoked to have him. Below is an actual photo of his first day!

Me: how was your first day of Jiu Jitsu training? 

Pepe: it's cool, you know, whatever. I just do it for the exercise. 

Me: you went to Kung Fu once in your entire life and went to Jiu Jitsu like 4 times so far this WEEK.

Pepe: so? I rather take Kung Fu... just that in Jiu Jitsu I get to roll with my homies.

[note: Pepe has been training with us regularly for the last 5 months!]

PEPE TIME #69

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy.

 

Submitted by The Hater

THEY STAY WITH THE TRUCK

You might recall, a couple summers ago, Pepe was in the market for a new truck. Eventually, he ended up buying a brand new truck but almost immediately, something was wrong…

Pepe: dude, this fucking truck, as soon as I drove it off the lot, I started hearing a clunk coming from the rear end, brand new fucking truck, special ordered! 

Being the masterful negotiator that Pepe is, he brought the truck back to those “motherfuckers” and demanded that they give him his money back. Not fix the truck. Full refund. Eventually, Pepe ended up returning the truck but took a bit of a hit because he was unable to get back the old truck he had traded in. So now, he needed a new ride.

Pepe: hey, you still trying to sell your truck? 

Hater: well, not really trying but I guess I’d sell it. 

Pepe: how much you want for it? 

Hater: I’d probably let it go for $14k now. 

Pepe: would you take $11k? 

Hater: nah, its worth it more for me to keep, I’d have to go get a new truck if I sold this one. 

Pepe: ok, I’ll give you $14k for it. 


So, that weekend, Pepe and Nator rode down to pick up the truck…

Pepe: hey, you got some tie-downs I can borrow for the bikes? You can get them the next time you come up.

Hater: yeah, sure, no problem. 

A couple weeks later, I happened to be in the neighborhood, but someone was having a bad day…

Hater: hey, I’m right down the street. Can I get those straps? 

Pepe: I’ll meet you at the shop in 10 minutes 

[half hour later]

Pepe: here’s your straps 

Hater: cool, thanks, I need these for next week to…hey, where are the other two? 

Pepe: what? 

Hater: the other two straps, there were four

Pepe: oh yeah, those other two? yeah, THEY STAY WITH THE TRUCK! 

Hater: …what? Are you actually stealing two tie down straps from me?  

Pepe: I said, THEY STAY WITH THE TRUCK!

PEPE TIME #68

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy 

THE CHOP SAW 

I got so many messages from people that were glad to have Pepe Time back last week, I thought I'd share another little story. I'm glad these stories are making people happy and getting a laugh out of the antics by our special friend Pepe.

One fine day in Long Beach, Nator was working at home in his garage and used up all his chop saw blades. Just needing to make a few more cuts, he called his neighbor Pepe and asked to borrow his chop saw. It wasn't a big deal at all; Pepe loaned his chop saw without a problem.

When Nator was finished with his work, he asked Pepe if he wanted it back. "Naw, dude, I'll just grab it from you later". Whenever Pepe came over, on a few more occasions, Nator offered to return the loaned chop saw but Pepe always said that he'd 'get it later'.

So for about 2 or 3 years, Pepe's chop saw sat in Nator's garage under a work bench. Right next to Nator's own chop saw. It just sat and sat with the same old blade that had barely been used since that first day.

This did not sit well with Pepe. He loved talking about how he loaned out his chop saw and NEVER GOT IT BACK. In fact, Pepe had the inside scoop on what was happening with Nator and the loaned chop saw... he wasn't keeping it in his garage, no. Pepe was absolutely sure that Nator was taking the chop saw to work and making TOOL RENTAL MONEY on it!

The thought of Nator making money on the loaned chop saw drove Pepe nuts. In fact, Pepe told dozens of our friends about the very sneaky and dirty trick Nator was pulling. Possibly making THOU$AND$ on the loaned chop saw.

Pepe: fucking Nator, dude, I know he's making money on my chop saw 

Me: holy shit, Pepe, you been talking about this chop saw for years now. At LEAST 2 years! 

Pepe: so fucking what, he's still got it 

Me: then just get it back - you're over at his house every other day

Pepe: that fucker is making money on it, pssht, I'm telling you


How it works at Nator's place of employment is that there's a boss man with a whole trailer full of tools that is used by all the workers. In fact, Nator would be a laughing stock if he showed up with one chop saw to try and "rent". This type of reasoning wasn't happening with Pepe though.

Some time later, I had my chance to put this chop saw thing to rest with Pepe. A bunch of the boys were hanging out in Nator's garage, shooting the shit. Pepe and I were in my truck on our way over to hang out too. This is how it went...

Me: OH FUUUUUUCK!!!

Pepe: what? 

Me: we're going to NATORS!!! 

Pepe: so? 

Me: THIS IS IT! WE'RE GOING TO GET YOUR CHOP SAW BACK!!!

Pepe: what? why? 

Me: you'll never have to talk about it again! 

Pepe: fuck that, dude, I don't wanna deal with that right now

Me: FUCK THAT! I'm grabbing it and taking it home for you then! 

Pepe: don't. 

Me: why not? it drives you NUTS!

Pepe: so what, don't bring it up, dude. 

Me: no fucking way! WOOO HOOOOOO!!!! CHOP SAW!!! 

Pepe: come on, dude, don't fucking talk about it 

Me [hands in the air while driving]: FUUUUUCK THAT!! CHOP SAAAAAAWW!!!

Pepe: don't, duuuude, I'm serious!!!

Me: NO MORE CHOP SAW!!! YEAH!!!

Pepe: come on, dude, don't bring it up. I just like having something to complain about...


Even with Pepe pleading with me, I could not help myself. I did not want to talk about that chop saw ever again. So there it was in Nator's garage, collecting dust under a work bench. Later that afternoon, Bobber Bob was curious about it too...


Bobber Bob: what was the deal with the chop saw you were making fun of Pepe about? 

Me: at Nator's earlier? you never heard about Pepe talking shit about a stupid chop saw? 

Bobber Bob: uuuhhm, kinda

Me: Pepe never said anything to you about some chop saw he loaned Nator? 

Bobber Bob: he used to talk shit about some chop saw he loaned to him, but that was a long time ago.

Me: that's the same one!

Bobber Bob: He still been talking about that chop saw?  Oh my god, that was like 3 years ago!

The End

PEPE TIME #67

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy

THE EPIC SAGA OF THE TAILLIGHT 

This Pepe Time is a little longer than usual, but hope you got a few minutes to go along for this epic ride.

Sometime in the late 90's, Bobber Bob had given me a couple of warbird taillights all the way from Los Angeles to Hawaii. I thought they were really neat. I stashed it away and kinda forgot about it for a while, not fitting any projects I had at the time.

A couple of years later, after moving to Southern CA, I had a job building motorcycles. It was at this shop where I got to know Pepe a little more. He was a nice guy that showed me around and introduced to many of my best friends I have today.

So, he had his rigid shovel at my place of work. Pepe and I disassembled this cool chopper, had the engine rebuilt by my boss, and we put it back together in stellar form. He had this old junky Chevy taillight that I couldn't bare to see used again, so I dug up this warbird taillight and gave it to him as a gift on one condition...

...the promise was that Pepe could never sell, trade, or ever part with the taillight. If it was going anywhere, it was coming back to me. I didn't think this was a problem because personally, I rarely ever sell anything. I buy or accept stuff to keep - not a hoarder by any means, but I just like to have the stuff I like. Pepe's the complete opposite. He sells everything. "I'm keeping this bike forever" means he'll sell it in the near future.

Pepe was really, really excited to have this taillight on his bike though. You wouldn't believe how much attention he drew to it whenever a friend or a passerby stopped to look at his bike, "you see this taillight, dude? psssht. RARE, so fucking RARE. You know how much these things are worth? pssht, you don't even know, dude!"

This went on for several years as Pepe actually kept this rigid shovel in his possession, which was a little unusual. Then he also had taken the bike apart yet again but this taillight haunted all of us... especially me, because by this time had Pepe discovered how to expertly navigate eBay and saw the rising value of this flying warbird. 

Pepe: dude, you know how much these things are fucking worth?!

Me: yup

Pepe: let's fucking sell it, dude! 

Me: nope, just give it back to me. I don't want to sell it even for a thousand dollars. Bob Bobber gave it to me like 10 years ago or some shit. 

Pepe: lets just put it on eBay to see what happens, dude!!!

Me: .........

This went on for a couple more years. It was probably confusing for Pepe. This amazing taillight was in his possession but he couldn't sell it - this did not compute in his brain.

What made Pepe's brain truly go into overdrive was the day Bill Dodge and Jesse James contacted him to buy the taillight for a customer of theirs at the now defunct West Coast Choppers.

Pepe: duuuuuude, you are not going to believe this Nelly! 

Me: what? 

Pepe: you know who called me today, dude? that fucker Bill Dodge wants to buy the taillight!

Me: fuck that, give it back to me

Pepe: what? I'm not gonna sell it! 

Me: .......

[then a day or so later]

Pepe: now Jesse's all over my shit wanting the taillight - let's split the fucking profit!

Me: profit? I don't want money for it.

Pepe: the fuck is wrong with you? 

Me: the fuck is wrong with me? you're going to sell a gift I gave you?

Pepe: no, dude, I'm just saying, pssssht, whatever dude. 

I was surprised that he didn't sell the taillight but he did literally tell everyone in the Long Beach/South Bay area about his amazing treasure by this point. Funny thing is, no one really knew that I gave it to him as a gift on the condition he never sell it.

Nator: you gave him that fucking taillight?! he never told me that!

Me: yup, I'm sick of hearing about it now though. I want him to sell it so I never have to talk about it ever again. 

And so, about 10 years later, that taillight was finally gone. There was so many other stories I had heard about Pepe and his taillight during those years he had it. I think Pepe ended up trading it to one of our Sinners Sweden brothers for a set of short Flanders risers.

Pepe: dude, you can have the risers.

Me: really?

Pepe: you were looking for these long before any of us even heard of them.

Me: right on, man, thanks... you know how much that taillight was worth? we should've sold it and split the profit.

Pepe: what?! fuck you, dude. 

The End

PEPE TIME #66

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy

DO THE HUMPTY HUMP

I can't remember exactly how this conversation started, but I clearly remember how it ended...

Nator: you need a disguise or something to go to that place.

Me: yeah, the nose and glasses and be all 'stop whatcha doin' cause I'm about to ruin'

Nator: haha humpty dance, do the hump...

Pepe: was that really his nose?

click the photo for the song!

PEPE TIME #65

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy

BANANAS

A few months ago, I went to the grocery store with Pepe because I needed more bananas for my super smoothie. He happen to need some bananas too. I chose organic bananas, just because they're grown naturally and cost just a few cents more. 

Me: get these, they're way better for you. 

Pepe: I like pesticides in my bananas. That organic shit tastes funny! 

The End 

PEPE TIME #64

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy

FUCK THAT FAGGOT SHIT

This episode featuring KYLE!

Kyle and his family was in town and we were in line to enter a very busy Mexican restaurant to have a nice dinner together, along with Dustinator and Pepe. Here's how part of a conversation went: 

Kyle: so what Pepe, when you gonna start training jiu jitsu with Nator and Nelly? 

Pepe: ...fuck that faggot shit

Note: please feel free to use this amazing one-liner at home with your loved ones and with your friends too! think of all the possible situations to use it in! 

PEPE TIME #63

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy 

BITCH

Pepe uses the word bitch a lot, more so than anyone I have ever met before. 99.9% of the time its used to describe a woman(s) in his life or perhaps a nice lady he would like in his life immediately. I noticed this early on and I started taking notes on some of the more popular one-liners that include his magic word. 

Here are a few that stand out the most: 

MIND YOUR BUSINESS BITCH

YOU GOTTA FUCK THAT BITCH

BITCH GOT A BODY ON HER

I FUCKED THE SHIT OUTTA THAT BITCH (Pepe Time #59)

I'M OVER THAT BITCH

CONTROL YOUR BITCH, DOG





Many of us who hang out with Pepe regularly found this to be pretty entertaining, so we started using it in our daily dialogue (without the same intent that Pepe has of course), to sort of brighten things up and have a laugh. I hope you can use these magic one-liners with your friends too. 

The End

PEPE TIME #62

IN JAPAN

I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy

This happened maybe 4 or 5 years ago. Pepe was just getting into ramen and a few things Japanese when the subject of the Mooneyes Hot Rod Show in Yokohama came up.

Nator and I were talking about maybe going when Pepe got really excited about the subject of Japan and cut in on the conversation just like this...

Pepe: hey, hey! Nelly, Nelly, Nelly! how come in Japan they go like this?!

[Pepe makes a bowing motion with his palms together and says "ah-so, arigato"]

Nator: ...that's because they're in JAPAN.

PEPE TIME #61

PIT BULL LAB MIX

I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
Enjoy

One day Pepe came home with another dog from the pound but this time it was a little adorable puppy. He was told the pup was left there for adoption and the staff thought maybe it was a Pitbull/Lab mix because of its color.

Pepe thought that was the best mix of dog in the world, considering Labradors are really smart and friendly and Pit Bulls are fearless. So as usual, Pepe went around town and told everyone about this amazing score. Here's a couple I was there for:

Pepe: dude, we just got another pup! fucking PIT BULL LAB MIX! such a rad dog!

Juan Eduardo: yeah, that's a killer mix... they're smart and listen to you but they get down when its time to!

Pepe: hell yeah!

Pepe: dude, we got another dog at the pound, she's just a pup. PIT BULL LAB, soo rad. 

Nator: oh yeah, I had one on Catalina. never lost a fight, fucking dog was da BU! it was my #1 pig hunting dog, killed so many fucking pigs.

Pepe: yeah dude, this dog is gonna be so rad.

As time passed, some of us noticed that the pup may not have been what the staff at the pound had guessed it was but Pepe still thought otherwise. Some didn't have the heart to say anything but a couple of us had to at least mention it.

Me: hey man, I don't think your dog's a pitbull mix... looks like some kinda running race dog, like one of those whippets or something...

Pepe: pssssht, WHAAAAAAT?! you fucking kidding me?

Me: well, her chest is maaaaaybe 6 inches wide and her legs are long and skinny.

Pepe: look at her color! she's brown with white on her chest, like a pitbull!

Me: a lot of dogs are brown with white on their chest, including whippet mix dogs.

Pepe: you don't know what you're talking about, dude.

Nator: this is the skinniest, lankiest pitbull I ever seen. I had one before, Pepe, this dog ain't no pit bull. 

Pepe: listen, I KNOW this dog is a pit bull. 

The End

PEPE TIME #60

I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
Enjoy

PEPE vs PEPE

PEPE TIME #59

I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
Enjoy

STEADY POKING

This little story from a couple of years back and I remember it very clearly. Pepe and I were at a local dive bar many of us used to go to regularly here in Long Beach. From this bar Pepe has had luck with the ladies on many occasions, this is undoubtedly true. And as he usually does, he loves point out who the lucky ladies were. Here's how it went on this fine night...

Pepe: pssssht, dude, you see that bitch, dude?

Me: who? her?

Pepe: she's pretty cute, huh? got a fucking BODY on her, dude... fucked the shit outta that bitch, dog!

[minutes later]

Pepe: oh shit, you see those two bitches? psssht, fuck! heh heh heh

Me: what?

Pepe: fucked the shit outta both of them, dude! hahahaha soo funny!

Me: yeah

Pepe: oh shit, fucking THREE bitches in this bar I been with, fucked the shit outta of them...

Me: you ever gave a girl like a nice, steady poking?

Pepe: what?

Me: you know, like once in a while just a nice steady one...?

[Pepe looks over my shoulder and just stares off into the distance, blinking his eyes rapidly for a few seconds]

Pepe: ....nope.

The End

For previous Pepe Time stories, just click the Pepe Time label below or scroll down a little and click the Pepe Time image on the right. Enjoy!

PEPE TIME #58

I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
Enjoy.

PEPE vs THE HATER

So as you may know Pepe gets easily hyped up when a lot of his best friends are around, especially on fight night, one of the hundreds of fun filled nights we watch MMA fights together. Pepe likes to be there sometimes hours before the fight, sometimes just to start and complain that no one is there... you know, shit like that.

On this occasion, The Hater from San Juan Diego had a treat for us. He was bringing several pounds of kalbi short ribs from his favorite spot and we were all gonna hang out, eat & drink before the fight started.

Pepe got a little out of hand real quick. Pepe couldn't stop picking at the meat before they were all done and grilled. He wanted to be the first one to taste it.

The Hater: stop picking at the food, stupid

Pepe: I can do whatever I want

The Hater: don't fucking do it

Pepe: make me....

So at this point it was on. The Hater set out to make Pepe stop picking at the food at his request, so I took over grilling duties. As you can clearly see, here is how things went:

The End

PEPE TIME #57

I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
Enjoy.

FRENCH FRIES

Once upon a time, Pepe and I went on a trip to a far away metropolis together. It was actually a good time and come to think of it, I've mentioned a little about this trip in Pepe Time #50.

We were on our way out of Gotham and since we're gonna be on a plane for a while, I made sure I didn't eat anything to upset my belly. Taking heaping dumps with an achey belly on a plane is no bueno. We started our day in the hotel restaurant and I had oatmeal for breakfast and surprisingly, so did Pepe. He even ordered a small fruit salad to go with it. I did notice that he only ate the very top off of the oatmeal, the brown-sugary sweet part, and I ate more of his fruit salad than he did... but whatever.

So 2 hours later, sitting around at the airport, Pepe eats two small bags of chips and a small bag of cookies:

Pepe: dude, my fucking stomach hurts

Me: that sucks... I'm kinda hungry again

Pepe: this suuuucks

Me: those chips and cookies probably didn't help dude

Pepe: so what

Me: ...this yogurt cup looks good.

Pepe: fuuuuck. stomach hurts.

2 minutes later...

Pepe: I know what I want!

Me: what?

Pepe: FRENCH FRIES! 

Me: that's not gonna go well with your stomach ache

Pepe: I don't care! that's what I want

*Pepe also ends up eating 3 more bags of chips and more cookies, mid-flight

PEPE TIME #56

I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
Enjoy.

STOP SIGN

The freeway exit near our hood used to have a stop sign just before merging onto the street. So you got off the freeway, went around a loop, stopped at the sign, then hung a right onto the street and end up in your own lane. Why that stop sign used to be there was indeed a mystery and it used to get Pepe quite excited. 

On this occasion, I was driving and Pepe was riding shotgun. We got off the freeway with 3 cars ahead of us. Here's how it went.

Pepe: LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING IDIOTS!!!

Me: what?

Pepe: they're all fucking STOPPING!

Me: at the sign? 

Pepe: YEAH! WHAT THE FUCK!!! So fucking irritating, dude! 

Me: wait, what?

Pepe: you get your own lane after the sign, so why fucking stop?!

Me: so you're not supposed to stop at the stop sign?

Pepe: FUCK no. 

Me: uuuhhmmm... what if they're new here?

Pepe: too bad, it's fucking stupid! I don't know why they put a sign here!

Me: so nobody is supposed to stop here?

Pepe: I said NO.

Me: what if there's a cop in back of you?

Pepe: I don't give a fuck... but I would stop just so I don't get fucked with. 

Me: so only stop at this sign if there's a cop behind you?

Pepe: just don't stop at this sign.

PEPE TIME #55

I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
Enjoy.

CARMASUTRA

 

Pepe has been through hundreds of different cars in his life. Here's a glimpse into his experiences with them.


Pepe: you know what I realized the other day, dude?

Me: what?

Pepe: I had sex in every car I've ever owned!