Thursday, December 30, 2010


I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.


Pepe: how come you get to have this stuff?

Me: huh?

Pepe: all these t-shirts and parts and stuff, dude.

Me: what do you mean? because I work in the motorcycle industry.

Pepe: fuuuuck, I don't ever get anything!

Me: that's because you don't work in the motorcycle industry.

Pepe: yeah, but look at all this shit you got!

Me: all this shit? it's a few books, magazines, an air cleaner, some t-shirts and stickers.

Pepe: why do you get to have all this stuff?! how come you got two of those Alan Wright books???

Me: well, because I might be able to pass the book along and Alan can get more work.

Pepe: so what?!

Me: ...because people or companies like to give me product so I can check it out or hand it over to the right people.

Pepe: that don't mean shit, I don't ever get anything.

Me: .....(pause).....

Me: you know how you work in the Hollywood film industry and you got to see the Spider Man suit before anybody else?

Pepe: yeah, so what?

Me: and you got to meet the Spider Man guy and hang out and shit... right?

Pepe: yeah, so the fuck what?

Me: I was at looking through our warehouse at work and I never seen any actors or the new Spider Man suit, there's only motorcycle parts! what the fuck? where's Spider Man!!!! I want to see his new suit!!!

Pepe: fuck... whatever, dude.

[a moment passes]

Pepe: from now on, every time somebody offers you something, just ask for TWO of everything so you can give me ONE.