Thursday, July 7, 2011


I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.

Can you believe its PEPE TIME #50? FIFTY stories about our friend Pepe. Of course you probably figured out by now (and I've mentioned before) that many of the names, locations and some minor details were left out or changed to protect the innocent! For the most part though, it's all there in every short clip of what its like to hang out with our homeboy Pepe. Love him or hate him, he is what he is.

So for this monumental 50th episode, I've been saving a little sound clip I recorded for you fans. So read the story, crank up the volume - I hope you find it entertaining.


I went out of town once with Pepe. We were in this amazing metropolis filled with bars from corner to corner. It was kinda difficult finding a bar we liked; it was a college district so we just went into the one that was the least fratboy-ish. 

Pepe's also become quite the oriental food guy. He loves ramen, eats any Asian food I put in front of him, and always talks about what it would be like to have an girlfriend from a distant Asian land.

A few minutes later, two young oriental college girls walk in with a couple of dudes. Pepe and I are at a table and they hug the end corner of the bar pretty close.

Pepe: ooooh shit, dude, check those chicks! they're fucking HOT!

Me: oh yeah, dog, especially that one girl. She's pretty cute...

Pepe: what? you kidding me, dude? how fucking hot is that girl... fuuuuuuuck!

Me: yup.

Pepe: check her out!

Me: Yeah, man.

Pepe: you think they're from around here?

Me: they look like college students, I'm sure they are.

Pepe: I wonder what it would be like to be with a hot little oriental chick like that, dude! cook me ramen and shit! haha!

Me: well, she looks Korean. I'm pretty sure they're Korean.

Pepe: how do you know?

Me: I'm half Japanese, homey, I KNOW.

Pepe: fuuuuck... hot Korean chick! Fuuuuuuuck... soo fucking hot! look at that little ass on her! fuck!!!

Me: it's all you, I got nothing to do with it.

Pepe: oh shit, look! look!

Me: what?

Pepe: she's smiling at us! every time I turn around, there! look!

Me: yup.

Pepe: you see her, dude? you seen that?

Me: yup.

Pepe: wait... that dude can't be her man... you think that's her man? fucking dork! 
Me: the dude with the faux hawk? might be. you should go over and find out.

Pepe: yup, I'm gonna. soon as that kid takes a piss and I'm a go check it out.

[Pepe walks over, chats for a minute or two, then walks back]

Pepe: fuuuuuck, she said it's her dude! I can't believe it. that fucking dork!

Me: hahahaha oh well, fuck it.

Pepe: fuuuuuuuuuck! that hot little Korean chick... oh shit, she's going outside or something with that other chick, I'm gonna go check it out...

So this went on for another 30 minutes or maybe an hour. I was on cocktail number 5 at this point and since I barely drink, I was pretty wobbly. We finally left that bar to go back to our hotel. Pepe was totally entranced by that Korean girl. He couldn't shake her and started talking about learning an Asian language, talking crazy, about how a Asian girl would cook all types of soups and noodles for him.

Pepe talked about this girl all night...

...even the next day, Pepe was still feeling the effects of love lost the night before. Still imagining what it would be like to have a Korean girlfriend, I caught him with my voice recorder speaking, uh, "Korean" to himself while watching TV. So turn up the volume and check out the clip!

The End


  1. The father of pepe's future asian wife-to-be is gonna be sooooo stoked!...

  2. Fuckin' Pepe rules!!!

  3. Where my Mum used to live is just outside London.
    A place called New Malden, and because of a well liked Korean diplomat. There was a surge of Korean ex-pats in the 90's.
    Delicious food, kim-chee and the super fresh kim-chee all over the place, dumplings, that potato spring onion omelette...
    What I noticed was that all the girls wore these hornrim glasses like hot secretaries from the sixties.
    Straight black hair with fringes and these sexy glasses.
    I'm with Pepe man,
    cooking you noodles and shit.

  4. You know he's a total Ruler when with out thinking? He say's I'll wait till the Dork takes a piss!Pepe's a fucking playa!!!!

  5. oh he's too horny to think straight and these things can end up in bar fist he on steroids? nelson?
    beware the horny pepe :)

  6. Too horny to think straight!!!
    I couldn't have said it better!!!

    No steroids for Pepe!
    Fist fights are always a possibility!

    BEWARE THE HORNY PEPE! I will slowly reveal a short saga of how Pepe has a way with the ladies... stay tuned!

  7. Asian girls BEWARE
    Pepe just has a way with Da ladies..

    P.s. "Hater" I can hear the Asian father to his daughter.."You have brought shame to our family, with this "Pepe""

  8. Daughter: "Father, this is my new boyfriend, Pepe."

    Pepe: "Ahh, hangichou..."

    Father: " go NOW!!!!"