Wednesday, May 15, 2013


I have a friend named Pepe. He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does. Enjoy.


Back in Pepe Time #64, you might recall Pepe's opinion of Jiu Jitsu. I remember that short moment in time clear as day. "Fuck that faggot shit" he said, with such disdain... but that was totally OK with us. If we were patient enough, I knew that it would come around and it did in the good, humorous form of Pepe Time #70! Some of you fight fans may dig this short tale.

So the back story: Pepe loves watching UFC fights like the rest of us. He has literally seen well over a hundred UFC matches over at Nator's house alone. But Mixed Martial Arts and Jiu Jitsu is not where his heart was, grasshopper. It was in Shaolin Kung Fu!

Please, don't get me wrong. I'm never one to make fun of any martial art. I truly do respect them all, including all of Kung Fu. But I do find it entertaining how Pepe had perceived Kung Fu. Here are some of the more memorable moments over the years.

Pepe: I'm telling you, dude, it's just a matter of time before Kung Fu gets into the UFC

Me: and then what? 

Pepe: Shaolin Kung Fu is bad ass, dude. All that UFC shit is nothing compared to it

Me: you think some Shaolin Monks would show up and clean the UFC out? 

Pepe: psssht, FUCK yeah

Me: Have you seen the first few UFC from the 90's? 

Pepe: So? 

Me: they had some Kung Fu guys in there but they got fucked up. 

Pepe: psssht, I don't remember but fuck all that

Me: you watch any Kung Fu movies lately? 

Pepe: dude, I watched every Kung Fu movie there is on all of Netflix

Me: are you serious? 

Pepe: Totally serious. I fucking watched them ALL. Ask me, quiz me. I'm serious.

Pepe: I've NEVER seen Jiu Jitsu in the UFC before!

Me: How come there isn't any Kung Fu guys on YouTube fucking everybody up?

Pepe: it hasn't come out yet.

Pepe: you know what else I can't get into about Jiu Jitsu?

Me: what?

Pepe: I can't get down with rolling on the floor with a bunch of sweaty guys!

Then exactly one year later, Pepe starts training with us in Jiu Jitsu at our same academy. What caused him to have such a change of heart is still a mystery. He's been hard at it and its been great fun, we're all stoked to have him. Below is an actual photo of his first day!

Me: how was your first day of Jiu Jitsu training? 

Pepe: it's cool, you know, whatever. I just do it for the exercise. 

Me: you went to Kung Fu once in your entire life and went to Jiu Jitsu like 4 times so far this WEEK.

Pepe: so? I rather take Kung Fu... just that in Jiu Jitsu I get to roll with my homies.

[note: Pepe has been training with us regularly for the last 5 months!]



  2. Kung Fu flashback:
    Master Po: Do you hear your own heartbeat?
    Kwai Chang Pepe: No.
    Master Po: Do you hear the grasshopper which is at your feet?
    Kwai Chang Pepe: Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
    Master Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?
    Kwai Chang Pepe: Whatever, i just wanna roll with my homies...