Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.

The Stereo Thief

One warm summer night, Pepe and I were in his big Ford truck driving up and down his street in the LB looking for a parking spot. I remember the AC was blasting, James Intveld was playing, and Pepe was complaining about neighbors parking in front of his pad even though they were parked curbside on a public street.

Pepe: they should know better than that! I park here ALL THE TIME!

As we're blazing up and down his street looking for the perfect parking spot, I see him looking at 2 cholos sauntering along the sidewalk. He looks at them for about a full second before he slams the brakes and comes screeching to a halt, then throws the truck in park and jumps out the truck at the same time.

I see him walking pretty fast toward the two dudes. One had a hoodie over his head all thug'd out and about a foot taller than Pepe, the other was a young kid about 18 years old or more, wearing a wife beater and baggy jeans.

Pepe went straight for Big Hoodie Guy, took two quick steps going into him (like an outfielder getting ready to throw all the way to home base), and jumps into the air with a overhand left. The guy gets clocked, his hands go up into the air and falls facedown. Pepe continues to punch then kick the shit outta the Big Hoodie Guy.

I'm watching this all go down from the middle of the street with the truck running, driver door open, AC blasting, James Intveld playing and I see the younger Wife Beater Kid start taking a few steps back like "I don't want any of this shit, holmes". I'm thinking what the fuck?

The Big Hoodie Guy comes to then jets across someone's yard and jumps over a wall to escape. Pepe turns to the Young Wife Beater Kid and tells him, "don't be hanging around that guy, he's a fucking PUNK."

This whole thing happens in a matter of maybe 1 minute.

Pepe comes running back to the truck, jumps in, and says with a smile "we gotta find parking... did you see me rock the guy?"

Me: what the fuck was that?

Pepe: did you see me, dude?!

Me: what the fuck was that?

Pepe: that guy with the hoodie, he's a fucking punk. He stole Nator's sister's car stereo the other day during our 4th of July party.

Me: ooooh shit!

Pepe: yeah, I don't like that fucker hanging around my neighborhood.

...then one week later...

Pepe: hey, remember that dude I fucked up on my street?

Me: yup.

Pepe: ...I found out it was the wrong guy.

Me: what?

Pepe: yup, but fuck that dude. I don't want him around my neighborhood anyway! he's a fucking punk!

The End.