I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
The Hater was driving Pepe and I back to Long Beach from a nice lunch when the conversation of newer cars came up. I'll start from when it got really good.
Pepe: dude, listen. LISTEN. You know what car beats all those cars?
The Hater: ........?
Pepe: you guys listening to me or what? you know what car beats ALL those cars?
The Hater: ......what?
Me: I dunno?
Pepe: C-L-S, dude.
Me: What is that?
The Hater: Mercedes CLS?
Me: that little convertible Mercedes or whatever? like a Miata?
Pepe: you don't even know what I'm talking about, huh. IT'S THE BADDEST FUCKING CAR.
Me: which one is it?
Pepe: Mercedes CLS, dude, soo fucking BAD ASS.
The Hater: so why do you think it's such a great car?
Pepe: everything about it, dude.
Me: ever ridden in a new Lexus? they're soo fucking smooth. If I hit lotto I'd buy a Lexus.
Pepe: you fucking kidding me, man? CLS will blow that thing away.
Pepe: in fact the CLS is faster and rides smoother than any of those cars.
The Hater: you know how much those things are?
Pepe: fuck it, I don't give a fuck. I'd buy one.
Me: those new Cadillacs The Hater was talking about has crazy horsepower too.
Pepe: hahaha, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW dude. The CLS will blow away any Cadi.
Pepe: if I had a CLS, I never would need anything again. that would be it. THAT'S IT.
Me: then buy one, you should do it
The Hater: I dare you to buy one. you won't do it.
Pepe: fuck, I will.
Pepe: I can, psshht.
2 days later...
Me: did you buy the CLS?
Pepe: actually dude, they had a used one at Mercedes so I test drove it. that car absolutely sucked.
Me: really? I thought it was the best car ever?
Pepe: I hated everything about it. it was all bumpy and shit going down the road and I just wasn't into it.