I have a friend named Pepe.
He's pretty funny and I like to keep a log of all the funny things he says and does.
This one is from about 2 years ago. My two dogs were a little younger then and I'd take them on a 2 or 3 mile walk every morning before I went to work. This was a Saturday morning and I had a doctor's appointment but I wanted to walk the dogs and get our routine over with. It was my first check up in like 8 years, so I did NOT want to miss it.
I happen to be walking near Pepe's house just a few blocks away from my pad. We weren't even in front of his house yet but his dog started barking at us already. Pepe came running out the door and looked like he just woke up. Here's how it went.
Pepe: hey dude, where you going?
Pepe: what's the rush?
Me: I gotta get home.
Pepe: why? it's so early, dude. just hang out.
Me (looking at my phone): it's 7:45am and I gotta get moving.
Pepe: what? why?
Me: I got a doctor's appointment at 8:30am so I gotta split, dude.
Pepe: just hang out. what the fuck?
Me: ...I still gotta walk the rest of the way home, feed these two, shower, then go to the doctor.
Pepe: so what?
Me: well, I got 45 minutes to do it so I gotta split...
Pepe: I said just fucking hang out.
Me: I been waiting for this doctor's appointment for weeks... so later...
Pepe: what's your fucking problem? just fucking HANG OUT.
Me: wait... so you want me to hang out and be late for a doctor's appointment I been waiting weeks for?
Pepe: who cares about the doctor! hang out!
Me: uuuuhhh.... ok, let me call him and tell him I'm going to be late because my friend Pepe wants me to hang out.
Me (fake calling the doctor on my phone): hello? Dr. Sullivan? I'm gonna be late because my friend wants to hang out. Can I reschedule? I know I been waiting for weeks, yes...
Pepe: you're stupid, dude.
Me (walking away): later, haha...
Pepe: psssht whatever.